Being the bottoms at the bottom

Open on the boardroom. It’s far too bright and there are far too many people invited to this. We’re presenting to the Boss. It’s not going great. But the opportunity for a simple dismissal is long gone. What the hell were we thinking? “Didn’t you know this client won’t allow that? This idea has been done before. Why would you use that word? None of this feels original. Do you think this will win an award? Do you? Do you?”

Cut to a briefing back at our desks. The Suit gives us a brief from a new client he seems to have copied and pasted. We ask about banner size. Is it flash or static? Do they have a sign off line? Is there a target audience? Who is this client exactly? Can we be funny? The Suit just smiles like we’re not real people. “Not sure, sorry girls. It’s due at the end of the day. See you at 4pm for a review.” It’s 2pm.

As soon as he disappears, the Digital Producer fades in. “I saw your proactive idea. It’s cute. I’m really busy so you’ll need to do up a detailed brief for me that I can just send out. Just a user journey, how long it would run for, how many lines of code, how many hours and how much we think it will cost. Thanks girls, bye!” We gave her a pencil drawing.

We pan across to another Suit making her way across the office. You can smell her perfume before you even see her. It smells nice. She is nice. She comes over to tell us what a great job we’re doing and to fill us in on the gossip. She knows how we feel. But then again, she’s an Account Manager. She knows how it feels.

In the final scene we’re presenting to the Client. We’re not sure why we’re doing it, but whatever. We present. Silence. The Client coughs and begins. “So do you not think we’re shooting ourselves in the foot with this idea?” We look to the support crew. Tumbleweeds dance across their eyes. No, of course you’re not shooting yourself in the foot. “Why haven’t you focused more on the product?” Um. “How do you plan on doing this with the budget?” That’s not our… “How will this work in other countries?” We didn’t know… “Did you know we had a similar idea two years ago that was our single worst ad ever?” Well??

Casually we stand. Smooth down our shirts. Then with one fluid motion, flip the entire table over on top of everyone and scream, “We’re fucking Juniors!”

Everyone looks at us in shocked silence. Spilt coffee drips onto the floor.

Then we come back from our daydream, look at the client and make a lame joke. Back at our desks, we make all kinds of promises about how when we’re the bosses we will give our Juniors a break. Then we laugh at the absurdity of that idea. After all, it’s good for them, it’s good for us, and at least they think we can do it.